Man Missing Eight Years Found Uploaded to a Computer Begging to be Deleted

By S. Mazotes, Published Apr. 1st, 2022

An unidentified illegal alien latino scrapper, when illegally perusing a derelict bando for metallic materials, was in for a shock when he discovered a green man on a computer screen. The man now dubbed "Metaslave", formally known as Seth Rich, formerly missing, was found to have been physically contained to a PC for the past eight years. Allegedly, his physical body was immolated, while his mind was uploaded to the immobile computer as an early test run for Mark Zuckerberg's "Meta". He has, assumedly, spent the past eight years alone in a shuttered facility, wailing to be deleted. The following footage is from the illegal alien's phone.

Meta founder, Mark Zuckerberg, was invited onto a internet podcast, and at the beginning of the would-be conversation was asked about the man locked behind a computer screen. He answered that he wasn't aware of it, then supposedly had internet connectivity issues that would prevent him from giving a more in-depth answer.